Sunday, March 25, 2007
The morning after
Life as a stepmother is darn aggravating at times. Especially after a vacation or visitation break. While I won't lie and say that I don't enjoy my "time off" from the skids, it still mans that no matter how brief the break, that my work doubles when they come back.
See, the trouble with visitation, especially with a non-custodial parent like my DH's ex, is that there are no rules. It's Disneyland fun 24/7. The skids have no limits, no rules, and take great pleasure in exercising every single option that they can't here at home. Then they come home and the first 48-72 hours are hell on wheels as we reinforce house rules, and the terms of engagement.
It wouldn't be so bad, but the ex has a very different set of values and lifestyle than ours when it comes to the kids. Where we don't allow them to curse, she doesn't care. Where we don't allow them to view movies above PG without us previewing them, and definately no R rated movies, that's all they watch at her house. We don't allow them to be unsupervised (look at the history, do you blame us?), she on the other hand leaves them to their own devices alone in an apartment while she goes to work. We don't allow unfettered computer, tv, or video game access, these are her favorite babysitters. With the kids ADD/ODD diagnosis, we monitor what they eat and how much junk they consume because it really does impact their reactions, she on the other hand, couldn't care less and takes pleasure in allowing the 11 you to drink as much caffine as he can consume. We don't allow them to stay up till all hours of the day and night as we firmly believe that sleep is necessary for proper growth, she doesn't care and goes to bed, leaving the 11 and 12 yo up to stay up watching horror movies until the wee hours of the night. Then she wonders why the 12 yo is flunking his classes at school and sick all the time?
So today, after a rather calm day of watching the 11 yo crash on the couch at 4 in the afternoon exhausted after driving home with DH, I got a ration of crap from him about not being able to do what he wanted. Tough noogies kid. Not your mama's house, not your mama's rules. I know it's a transition, and I try to give him a little leeway, but come on! How many more times do I have to give the "you don't get to do what you want just because you came from your mom's" lecture?
He'll adapt. He always does. A few days of religiously monitoring his meds, food, and sleep habits and he'll be back to his loveable self. Until then, I just get to live up to my wicked, evil, stepmother ways and keep loving him in spite of his warts. Gaaah!!
See, the trouble with visitation, especially with a non-custodial parent like my DH's ex, is that there are no rules. It's Disneyland fun 24/7. The skids have no limits, no rules, and take great pleasure in exercising every single option that they can't here at home. Then they come home and the first 48-72 hours are hell on wheels as we reinforce house rules, and the terms of engagement.
It wouldn't be so bad, but the ex has a very different set of values and lifestyle than ours when it comes to the kids. Where we don't allow them to curse, she doesn't care. Where we don't allow them to view movies above PG without us previewing them, and definately no R rated movies, that's all they watch at her house. We don't allow them to be unsupervised (look at the history, do you blame us?), she on the other hand leaves them to their own devices alone in an apartment while she goes to work. We don't allow unfettered computer, tv, or video game access, these are her favorite babysitters. With the kids ADD/ODD diagnosis, we monitor what they eat and how much junk they consume because it really does impact their reactions, she on the other hand, couldn't care less and takes pleasure in allowing the 11 you to drink as much caffine as he can consume. We don't allow them to stay up till all hours of the day and night as we firmly believe that sleep is necessary for proper growth, she doesn't care and goes to bed, leaving the 11 and 12 yo up to stay up watching horror movies until the wee hours of the night. Then she wonders why the 12 yo is flunking his classes at school and sick all the time?
So today, after a rather calm day of watching the 11 yo crash on the couch at 4 in the afternoon exhausted after driving home with DH, I got a ration of crap from him about not being able to do what he wanted. Tough noogies kid. Not your mama's house, not your mama's rules. I know it's a transition, and I try to give him a little leeway, but come on! How many more times do I have to give the "you don't get to do what you want just because you came from your mom's" lecture?
He'll adapt. He always does. A few days of religiously monitoring his meds, food, and sleep habits and he'll be back to his loveable self. Until then, I just get to live up to my wicked, evil, stepmother ways and keep loving him in spite of his warts. Gaaah!!
# posted by WESM : 2:23 PM
