Wednesday, June 28, 2006
So the drama comes full circle...
Consider yourself warned: This is going to be quite the rant, so if you're not ready to deal with it, don't go any further.
The CA family court system is a freaking joke. After 7.5 years, over $28,000 in legal fees, 8 mediations, court order evaluation, 8 arrests of the ex, minors attys and all the other crap that's been shoveled in our general direction because of the ex-wife and the skids... they finally did it. The freaking mediator said that "we won't know unless we try" and RECOMMENDED THAT THE SKIDS GO LIVE WITH THE EX!!! Yup, you heard it here, the CA Family court mediator decided that it would be better for the skids to change schools and go live with their drug addicted mother because "she's doing so well, and has been clean for the longest period in her life". WTF is this woman smoking?!?!?! Sure, she's been clean! She's had to be! One year in jail... pretty hard to shoot up with vicodin and soma there... one year living with her sister... yeah the one who moved to TX because her hubby gave her an ultimatum of "move with me, or stay with your sister forever"! Some gem huh? The whole mess is just a joke. The skids are a mess... sd is stuffing her feelings and angry at the world, as any normal 14 yo is apt to be. The oldest ss is ADD/ODD and has point blank told us that he's trying to make us mad so that we'll leave marks on him to show the mediator so he can call the cops. Yeah... okay... The youngest ss is due to be taken back into custody by the juv dept and sent to an inpatient program for a year due to his severe ADHD/ODD/CD issues that have been ongoing for years. Oh, but this is all OUR FAULT don't ya know. It's all because we're awful parents. We expect them to listen, obey, and actually follow the rules around here. We don't buy them everything their little hearts desire, no we make them actually work and earn privileges and extras. Dang we're just evil. So now what do we do?? Fight the mediators recommendation and incur THOUSANDS of dollars in legal fees, evaluation fees, etc? Or give up the ghost, bite the bullet and say "to hell with it... you want it you got it!" and let the ex sink or swim??? Right now I don't know. My poor husband is probably at his wits end, and he's not talking about much. I think he needs a bit more cave time before he'll come out and let me know what's up. Till then I've tried to just be supportive and let him know that no matter what I'm here with him. Of course that doesn't mean that I don't want to rip out the throat of the mediator in CA who would even THINK about pulling this crap. Do these people have NO IDEA or any even clue about how CHILDREN ARE MANIPULATORS?!?!?! Does she not understand that if someone, anyone would just tell the ex "NO!" that a lot of this would STOP. She'd stop undermining DH's parenting, she'd not be able to pull the "Mommy misses you soooooooo much" card anymore, and the bitch would finally just get that she doesn't have the right to meddle.... but now... California is the land of the GOLDEN UTERUS... I gave birth therefore I am perfect!!! GAG!! PUKE!! I swear that any woman would have to show up to the mediation office with a needle in her arm or shoot up right in the court room for ANYONE to give a damn about what is really going on with these kids. The thing that irritates the most... for the most part they are great kids! We've had 2 years of just the normal kid stuff going on. Lots of teen rebellion... lots of kids testing limits... and issues of us all learning to deal with the boys and their "disorders". It's not undoable... it's not outrageous... it's not even that anything more than hard and exhausting... but what parent isn't exhausted??? Instead we have to continually go through this chaos of the ex dragging us back to court "I WANT MORE" of whatever, time, money, etc. and the kids get dragged into it because she can't shut her trap and not tell them about all of her whining issues.
Honestly, my feelings are... give them to her. Let her deal with all the issues and crap that they dish out and try to meet all of their entitlement issues. When the crap hits the fan and she can't handle them anymore... too bad. We'll pay child support and count the days until it ends. Either scenario means that our atty has her work cut out for her. If we try to keep the kids it literally means thousands of dollars and hours of trying to dig out of this. If we give her the kids it will mean less money and time, but we'll have to do everything we can to cut her off so that she can't try to ruin us financially. Ultimately, I don't know what will happen. I'm just exhasted and tired of all the crap and having the deck stacked against us everytime because of the freaking liberal female centered victim court system in CA.
The CA family court system is a freaking joke. After 7.5 years, over $28,000 in legal fees, 8 mediations, court order evaluation, 8 arrests of the ex, minors attys and all the other crap that's been shoveled in our general direction because of the ex-wife and the skids... they finally did it. The freaking mediator said that "we won't know unless we try" and RECOMMENDED THAT THE SKIDS GO LIVE WITH THE EX!!! Yup, you heard it here, the CA Family court mediator decided that it would be better for the skids to change schools and go live with their drug addicted mother because "she's doing so well, and has been clean for the longest period in her life". WTF is this woman smoking?!?!?! Sure, she's been clean! She's had to be! One year in jail... pretty hard to shoot up with vicodin and soma there... one year living with her sister... yeah the one who moved to TX because her hubby gave her an ultimatum of "move with me, or stay with your sister forever"! Some gem huh? The whole mess is just a joke. The skids are a mess... sd is stuffing her feelings and angry at the world, as any normal 14 yo is apt to be. The oldest ss is ADD/ODD and has point blank told us that he's trying to make us mad so that we'll leave marks on him to show the mediator so he can call the cops. Yeah... okay... The youngest ss is due to be taken back into custody by the juv dept and sent to an inpatient program for a year due to his severe ADHD/ODD/CD issues that have been ongoing for years. Oh, but this is all OUR FAULT don't ya know. It's all because we're awful parents. We expect them to listen, obey, and actually follow the rules around here. We don't buy them everything their little hearts desire, no we make them actually work and earn privileges and extras. Dang we're just evil. So now what do we do?? Fight the mediators recommendation and incur THOUSANDS of dollars in legal fees, evaluation fees, etc? Or give up the ghost, bite the bullet and say "to hell with it... you want it you got it!" and let the ex sink or swim??? Right now I don't know. My poor husband is probably at his wits end, and he's not talking about much. I think he needs a bit more cave time before he'll come out and let me know what's up. Till then I've tried to just be supportive and let him know that no matter what I'm here with him. Of course that doesn't mean that I don't want to rip out the throat of the mediator in CA who would even THINK about pulling this crap. Do these people have NO IDEA or any even clue about how CHILDREN ARE MANIPULATORS?!?!?! Does she not understand that if someone, anyone would just tell the ex "NO!" that a lot of this would STOP. She'd stop undermining DH's parenting, she'd not be able to pull the "Mommy misses you soooooooo much" card anymore, and the bitch would finally just get that she doesn't have the right to meddle.... but now... California is the land of the GOLDEN UTERUS... I gave birth therefore I am perfect!!! GAG!! PUKE!! I swear that any woman would have to show up to the mediation office with a needle in her arm or shoot up right in the court room for ANYONE to give a damn about what is really going on with these kids. The thing that irritates the most... for the most part they are great kids! We've had 2 years of just the normal kid stuff going on. Lots of teen rebellion... lots of kids testing limits... and issues of us all learning to deal with the boys and their "disorders". It's not undoable... it's not outrageous... it's not even that anything more than hard and exhausting... but what parent isn't exhausted??? Instead we have to continually go through this chaos of the ex dragging us back to court "I WANT MORE" of whatever, time, money, etc. and the kids get dragged into it because she can't shut her trap and not tell them about all of her whining issues.
Honestly, my feelings are... give them to her. Let her deal with all the issues and crap that they dish out and try to meet all of their entitlement issues. When the crap hits the fan and she can't handle them anymore... too bad. We'll pay child support and count the days until it ends. Either scenario means that our atty has her work cut out for her. If we try to keep the kids it literally means thousands of dollars and hours of trying to dig out of this. If we give her the kids it will mean less money and time, but we'll have to do everything we can to cut her off so that she can't try to ruin us financially. Ultimately, I don't know what will happen. I'm just exhasted and tired of all the crap and having the deck stacked against us everytime because of the freaking liberal female centered victim court system in CA.
# posted by WESM : 8:42 PM
